In The Doghouse
by Carlisle Cares
Summary: Jacob spends a lot of time at the Cullen's. He has practically become a member of the family along with Leah and Seth. He and Rosalie manage to get along, for the most part. They still have their spats and when Rosalie goes too far, it forces Carlisle to step in, opening Jacob's eyes to what being called to the study entails. Warning: Will contain disciplinary spanking.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is written at the request of a Reviewer who wanted a story containing Jacob having to deal with Carlisle and Esme as surrogate parents since he is practically a Cullen. The characters in this story belong to Stephenie Meyer and her wonderful world of the Twilight Saga. **

**In this story, Bella is still human but has married Edward. There will be no Renesmee in my stories. Sorry!**

**Special thanks to Cumor for the thoughts and suggestions, and especially for coming up with the perfect title! **

**Warning: This story will contain disciplinary spanking. If you don't like this, don't leave nasty reviews, just go on to something else.**

**Chapter 1 - Wipe Your Feet**

**Jacob:**

Since Bella and Edward's marriage, I have been camping out here at the Cullen's a lot. Bella is still my best friend and I come over here most of the time. We still have our differences at times, but I actually have become a Cullen-wolf if you would. Even Edward has no problem with me being here anymore, since he has Bella now and I actually have to agree they do belong together. She is like my sister. That is now how our relationship is.

Since the battle between wolf packs is over since I gave my permission to turn Bella, I still have my little pack of me, Seth and Leah. We all stay around the Cullen's. They have accepted us also. Leah still keeps her distance, but Seth is like me and is practically a member of the Cullen family also.

Even Rosalie and I seem to tolerate each other more. She still can get under my skin at times, but she has come around. She still seems to be more of a stem with thorns than a rose! Stuck up, literally with thorns!

However, it is not all fun and games around here. I even get treated as one of the family. They do cook for me, Leah and Seth. For people who don't eat, they sure can serve up some good meals. Even Leah has come in to eat with us now. She never used to before. I've even been chewed out a few times by Carlisle. He treats me as one of his sons, and he lets me know when I am out of line. Even Esme has called me on the carpet a few times. One of her pet peeves is I put my dirty feet on her furniture. I soiled one couch and it had to be sent out to be cleaned.

One time I back-talked Carlisle and he told me if I ever took that tone with him again, he would take me to his study. Emmett, Jasper and Edward all loved that. They teased and kidded me for days on that. Yeah, just let him try it. What could he do? All he would do was chew me out again. I'm not afraid of him.

While sitting on the couch waiting for Bella to come down, Rosalie came out with one of her snide remarks.

"Hey mutt, what's up? She asked smirking at me as usual.

"Nothing, just like you!" I smarted back to her.

"Such a puppy, would the puppy like a doggie treat? Come on boy, here boy, here boy," she teased.

"Rosalie! That's enough of that," Carlisle said to her coming down the stairs.

"I was just teasing with him, dad," she said to him smirking at me again.

"Tease all you want, you bottle blonde," I gave back to her.

"Jacob, enough!" Carlisle said giving me a disapproving look. "And what were you told about putting your feet on the furniture, young man?"

"Oh, sorry Carlisle," I said putting my feet on the floor. "I didn't even notice I had them up on the couch!"

"Don't let Esme catch you doing that again, or you will be in very hot water, young man!" He warned me.

"What was that?" Esme said walking in the room.

"Go ahead muttly, tell her what you were doing?" Rosalie taunted.

"I ah, forgot again and had my feet on the couch, sorry Esme!" I said.

"Jacob, if you don't stop that, I am sending you to your father's study!" Esme said.

"My father?" I said shocked.

"Well, you're practically family and you are here most of the time, you're like another son to us. You even call us Daddy Vamp and Momma Vamp at times, so it fits!" She said pleased at her explanation.

"Humpf, I never thought of it like that," I said.

"Oh please, I'm not claiming that mangy mutt as my brother or half-breed brother, or whatever he is," Rosalie said irritated.

I jumped up and grabbed her and landed a big sloppy kiss right on her lips. "Such a thing to say to your brother, sister dear!" I said proud of myself for my quick thinking.

"Oh gross! Mom! Dad! Look what that miserable filthy stray did to me, now I have wolf cooties," she said. "I'm going upstairs to gargle with alcohol, peroxide, anything to kill the germs! Yuk! Yuk ! YUK!" She screamed running up to the bathroom.

I just sat there laughing until I looked over at my "vamp parents" who were not looking so pleased. They were both giving me that parental stare that sends shivers down your spine. I didn't like the looks of this. So I thought I better say something quick.

"Okay, I'm sorry. But she called me a mangy mutt! Why didn't you say something to her? She started it!" I pointed out.

"You didn't give us a chance, Jacob," Esme said.

"Jacob, you are welcome here and are welcome to stay as long as you like. However, when you are in this house, you will abide by the same rules that my children abide by. You will respect the other members of this family and you will treat Esme and I as if we were your parents. My house, my rules! Go against my rules or disobey us and you will answer to me or Esme the same as the others. Is that clear young man?" Carlisle asked giving me a stern look.

"Yes, Daddy Vamp. I hear you loud and clear," I said slightly irritated.

"You watch your tone with me, mister, or you and I will be taking a walk to my study," he warned again. "Just so you know, I've talked with your father, Billy, and he has no problem with you being here at my home, but he has given me permission to deal with you if you step out of line, so be warned, my wolf-son."

"So what's the deal with your study? What, will you show me a movie, read a book to me, tell me the origins of the vampires and the vermin Volturri?" I asked.

"Again, watch your tone, or you will find out and not like the consequences," he said giving me a hard stare.

"Okay, okay, I'll watch it and obey the rules. Wouldn't want to see that scary study of yours," I said chuckling.

"No you wouldn't," he said shaking his finger at me.

A few days went by and it was raining outside. Leah, Seth and I were sitting in one of the living rooms talking with Bella, Edward and Jasper. I didn't realize I had mud on my shoe and put it up under my leg. No one saw it. We continued with a casual conversation until Rosalie came in the room with her sassy comments.

"Well, if it isn't the three billy goats gruff, just like the fairy tale," she said smartly.

Leah gave her a snarl and Seth just laughed. I took offence like Leah. "You would know, you have a goatee just like a billy goat, but you shave it to try to hide it!" I said to her. I thought Edward was going to fall off the couch laughing. He couldn't get his breath, he was laughing so hard.

"I DO NOT! You flea-bitten bag of fur! How dare you!" Rosalie said, throwing a pillow at me. I grabbed it and launched it back at her. She caught it and flung it back at me. I stood up to fire it back when she shrieked pointing to the couch that I had just gotten up from.

"Look what you did to mother's couch! You got mud all over it again! Oh good, you're going to get it!" She happily stated. She then called out, "Mother! Come and look what Jacob did to your couch again!"

"Shut up, whisker face!" I said launching the pillow at her. It missed and hit Esme in the face as she and Carlisle came into the room to see what Rosalie was yelling about.

"Oh, sorry momma vamp, I was aiming at big mouth over there," I said embarrassed I hit her. Both she and Carlisle looked at the couch with mud all over the one side. Leah was sitting next to where I was and she jumped up.

"Ugh, Jacob, why didn't you wipe your feet? Look what you did again!" Leah said. _(Thanks Leah, rub it in!)_

"JACOB! I told you not to put your feet on the couch and you know you should wipe your feet! You are going to clean that up young man," Esme said angrily.

"I'm sorry, momma vamp! I'll clean it up, what should I use to clean it," I asked.

"Oooohhh, someone's in trouble!" Jasper said kiddingly.

"Jacob! You will go with your mother to get the cleaning supplies and clean that couch until she is satisfied, or you will join me in my study," Carlisle said sternly.

"I-I didn't mean it! I didn't know I had mud on my shoes again," I stressed to Carlisle.

"You should have checked before you came in the house. Now go!" Carlisle said, motioning for me to follow Esme.

"Ha ha, you're in trouble and you have to clean the couch from your muddy paws!" Rosalie taunted again.

I snarled my lip at her as I passed and followed Esme out to the garage…

**TBC: Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2 -- The Study Revealed

**Chapter 2 – The Study – Revealed**

**Jacob:**

I followed Esme out to the garage and she got a bucket and some cleaning supplies for me. She gave me a scrub brush and a rag and put some detergent in the bucket and had me fill it with warm water. She also gave me a stain remover spray to bring in. We went back to the living room and everyone seemed to have vanished but Esme and me. She then said to spray the stain remover on first and then to scrub it with the soap and water.

I began spraying the muddy stain. The stain remover was working. She told me to go ahead and scrub the cushion and to take it off and get underneath if there was mud there also. I began scrubbing and berating myself for being so stupid for not checking my shoes and wiping them before I came in. I'll never come in this house without checking my shoes again. I don't even remember where I got the mud. Oh well, this isn't so bad. Well it wasn't until the blonde blabbermouth came down to tease me.

"Well, well, well! What do we have here? A new maid! Funny, you smell like a wet dog! A dog that has been out in the rain and mud! And you look like one too! Where's your uniform, maid?" Rosalie teased.

"Listen, blonde bimbo, kiss my a…."

"Jacob! Don't you dare finish that sentence," Esme chided me.

"Oh, sorry momma vamp, didn't see you come in," I said.

"Rosalie, let him alone. He's cleaning up the mess like I told him. He doesn't need any help from you," Esme told her.

"We need to spray some air freshener to get rid of the wet dog smell that's oozing off him," Rose said sarcastically.

"Rosalie! That's enough from you! Leave him alone and go upstairs," Esme scolded.

"Gladly! The air is fresher up there anyway," Rose said sauntering up the steps.

Esme had her back to me pointing upstairs to Rose. Rose smirked at me as she climbed the steps.

"Your name might be Rose but you sure don't smell like one," I called back at her. She smirked at me again.

"Jacob, that's enough. Scrub!" Esme said pointing to the couch. She left me alone to my cleaning chore.

The stain was coming out so I lifted the cushion up to check underneath it. Rose was coming down the stairs again and she just couldn't resist.

"Ha, looking for a place to hide your bone, Spike!" Rose said with an evil grin.

"No, I was seeing if I could find the place you hid your brains, Blonde Wonder!" I came back.

"You wouldn't know brains if you could see them, you certainly never use any!" She smarted off again.

"Why don't you walk outside and scare the rain away so we can have a sunny day for a change, Medusa!" I said laughing.

"Shut up! You and your flea-bitten pelt, don't infest the furniture," she taunted.

That was it. I had it with her. I put my hand in the scrub water, grabbed the soapy, wet rag out and lobbed it at her. It hit her on the right side of her face and hair. I laughed my butt off. "Ha ha, I hope it doesn't wash the blonde out of your hair! Ha Ha Ha!"

"OOOOOOOhhhhhhhhhhh! YOU!" Rose screamed at me. She ran at me and grabbed me by the neck and bent me down and stuck my head in and out of the scrub water in the bucket. "Take that you filthy cur!" She shrieked at me.

I was holding my breath. I couldn't get a grip on her or the bucket. I snorted in the water and it sprayed all over. I couldn't stand up.

"ROSALIE! Let him go!" Carlisle yelled at her running down the stairs. She kept dunking my head.

"ROSALIE!" Carlisle got to her and pulled her off me. He then grabbed me and helped me up. "Jake are you alright?"

"Yeah, just wet and waterlogged," I said. Rosalie was standing there glaring at me, still fuming. Carlisle turned his attention to her.

"Rosalie Cullen, you march yourself up those stairs and wait for me in my study! Now!" He ordered her. She turned in a huff and stomped up the stairs.

"Rosalie, you better simmer down, young lady!" Carlisle warned her. "Are you sure you are okay, Jake," he asked looking me over.

"Yes, Carlisle, I'm fine," I said.

"What happened?" He asked.

I filled him in on all the barbs we shot back and forth. I told him I finally had enough and fired a wet rag at her. I told him how she dunked my head in and out. He listened with his arms crossed over his chest.

"I think the two of you better call a truce with these insults you keep firing at one another. You could have gotten hurt if no one was here. You two need to get along and stop this nonsense. I am going to say the same thing to her, and then some. I've about had enough of this. Now go clean yourself up and finish cleaning the couch. I will deal with Rosalie," he said walking up the stairs.

I went to the bathroom and washed the soap and dirt off my face. I dried off and then went back to my couch cleaning. I was wondering what was going on in the study. The study! The place of mystery. The place everyone here seems afraid of and doesn't want to go or get called into. Maybe it will be revealed to me. This should be interesting. How bad can a lecture from Carlisle be? I got chewed out by him, it wasn't a picnic, but it wasn't that bad. I survived. Surely Rosy Posy will get through a little chewing out, unless she turns on the waterworks! Probably has her daddy wrapped around her little finger. Hmm, hope he lays into her good. She deserves it.

"Jacob, what happened?" Esme asked seeing the mess on the floor.

I explained everything to her. She agreed with Carlisle. She wants us to get along.

"Well, that's easier said than done when Rosalie keeps taunting me. I can give as well as I can take and she's not getting ahead of me. As long as she keeps it up, so will I," I told Esme.

"Jake, you're asking for trouble. I suggest you listen to Carlisle or else you will end up where Rosalie is now," she warned.

"I've been chewed out by Carlisle, it's not that bad. I don't know what is so bad about his study," as I was saying that I heard sounds coming from Carlisle's study. I wasn't positive, but I thought I heard Rose say "oww" or "ouch!" Was I hearing things? Then the sounds came louder. It sounded like slapping. Slapping? Wait a minute, was he slapping her? Hey, I think she's crying! What, crying? Why would she cry?

I looked at Esme, "Is Carlisle hitting Rosalie?" I asked with shock.

"No, he's spanking Rosalie. There's a difference," Esme explained.

"You're kidding! He's spanking her? Like really spanking her?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yes, he is!" Esme said again.

"Wait, is she crying like that? How bad can it hurt? She's a vampire, I thought you guys were like marble or something?" I asked.

"To humans that's how we feel. But to a fellow vampire, we feel like humans feel to one another," she explained.

"No way! So she can feel the spanking like a human child could from a parent?" I asked her.

"Yes, just like that. As vampires they heal faster than a human does, but with our sensitive nerve endings, they feel it 10 times more than a human would. When he lets her up, she will be sore. He knows what he's doing, he's been disciplining the children like that for a while now," she told me.

"Hold it, you mean that's what the others are talking about when they get called to the study? They are going to get a spanking? From Carlisle? Hey wait a minute, what did you mean let her up? Oh no, you can't be serious? Are you saying he has her over his knee?" I asked about to bust.

"Yes, I'm sure he does and yes, he spanks all the children. It is the best way to discipline them and it works too," she admitted.

"Oh this is great! Blondie's getting a spanking over her daddy's knee! How perfect is that! I love it! I can't wait to rub it in to her. Little Miss Perfect got her a…"

"Jacob!" Esme warned.

"Sorry, got her butt spanked! HA HA HA HA!" This couldn't get any better.

"Jacob, don't you tease her, or you may find yourself in that same position, young man!" Esme warned.

"Are you kidding? How bad could it be? I'm not afraid of a little spanking. I wouldn't even cry. She's up there bawling her eyes out. What a baby! Ha ha ha ha ha! Serves her right," I said laughing.

"Jake, I'm warning you, you don't know what you are saying. I can tell you every one of my children would tell you otherwise. A spanking from Carlisle is not to be taken lightly and at the rate you are going, you are going to see for yourself, very soon." She warned.

"Don't worry about me, momma vamp, I could get through something like that without shedding a single tear. Besides, my wolf skin would probably not feel anything from a vampire. It would be like when Bella tried to punch me in the face, she sprained her hand." I said to her proudly.

"Bella was a human at the time Jake, I wouldn't be so confident if I were you," she warned again.

"I'll take my chances, don't worry about me, momma vamp," I said smugly.

"Okay, have it your way, Jake," she said smiling as she walked out. "Get back to scrubbing young man and it better be spotless when I check it out!"

"Yes, momma vamp," I answered. Oh I can't wait for Rosalie to come out of her daddy's study. My dream has come true...

**TBC: Please give reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3 -- Let the Taunting Begin

**Chapter 3 – Let the Taunting Begin!**

**Jacob:**

I finished cleaning the couch. It looked good. Now I just need to get Esme's approval before I can enjoy myself and taunt Miss Thorn Bush on her spanking from daddy. Oh, I can't wait for this. Finally, I've got something to rub in her face. I've been practicing on my wisecracks while I was cleaning the couch. No wonder it looks so good. The more things I came up with to tease her, the more I scrubbed that couch. I almost took the material down to threads, or it felt that way.

A little while ago I heard Fancy Pants leave the study and go quickly to her room, sniveling all the way! Ha! Music to my ears. I hope Carlisle dusted off her fanny really good. I got a pillow all ready down here for whenever she decides to inflict her face on anyone down here, especially me! Oh, good, Esme's coming in.

"Hey, Momma Vamp, take a look at my handiwork here! I'm sure it will meet your approval!" I said to her.

"Wonderful! Let me check it over, Jake," she said happily.

"See, not a bit of mud anywhere! I dare you to find even a smidgeon of it!" I said to her.

"Looks good! You did a fine job, Jacob! I'm very satisfied. Now clean up the cleaning supplies and you will be finished," she told me.

I took everything out to the garage. I put everything where it was suppose to go after I cleaned them. I turned to look at the garage. This garage is bigger than my whole house back at the Rez! Plus, I've never seen a house with so many living rooms! Must be nice! Making my way back inside, Carlisle was coming down the stairs.

"Carlisle, darling, look at the beautiful job Jake did on the couch," Esme said to him pointing to my masterpiece.

"I see, you did a great job, Jake," he said to me.

"Thanks Carlisle," I said to him.

"Make sure you wipe your feet from now on and check them again before you sit on the furniture," he warned.

"Yes, Jacob. If you do that one more time, I am sending you to Carlisle's study and you now know what happens in there," Esme warned me.

"Yeah, have to tell you Carlisle, I had no idea you spanked your kids! Sounded like you gave Rosie girl a good hiding," I said to him.

"Yes I did Jacob, she still needs to apologize to you. She should not have done that. But you need to stop egging it on, my boy, or you may find yourself in Rosalie's place," Carlisle said to me sternly.

"Oh, I think I could handle anything you dish out Carlisle. I certainly will never cry like I heard Rosie, she was really howling," I admitted.

"Don't be too sure on that young man, ask any of my children, they do not relish being called to my study," he warned again.

"You don't spank Bella do you, after all, she's your daughter-in-law," I asked him.

"She may be my daughter-in-law, but I still consider her my daughter just like the others. And yes, I have spanked Bella before," he told me.

"What? You spanked her?" I asked again.

"No one is exempt, if you do the crime, you do the time," he said to me. "Take that as a warning, my boy!"

"I can't believe you spanked Bella," I said not believing what I heard.

"Well, he has, and not just once, I might add," Esme said to me.

"Wow, guess I better mind my p's and q's around here," I said looking at both of them.

"Let me make it easy for you, my house—my rules! It's as simple as that! Break the rules and you suffer the consequences. It's not always a spanking; sometimes it's grounding or loss of driving privileges, etc. Keep that in mind, Jake. It will make it easier on you," he said raising his eyebrows at me.

After he said that, he and Esme went into one of the other living rooms. A little later, the blonde menace came slithering down the stairs, right where I want her.

"Hey there, straw head! How's that rump roast doing?" I said grinning from ear to ear. _(I couldn't help it, I was so happy!)_

"Mind your own business! Why aren't you outside chasing a cat?" She said smirking.

"Go outside and start running and I'll chase you," I came back at her.

"HA! You'd never be able to catch me," she said throwing her head back.

"I wouldn't want to catch you! It would be like catching pneumonia! Who would want that?" I said grinning at her.

"Oooohhh! I'd like to slap you right now, but it would just be bad for me, but you wait mongrel! I'll get my chance at you soon," she said with an evil grin.

"Both of you better stop it before I come out there and handle the two of you," Carlisle called from the other room.

"He started it daddy, he's been a butt since I came down," she said to him.

"No, you're the butt and I bet it hurts too! Here, I got a cushion for you!" I said tossing the pillow at her. I had taken the cushion form out of the pillow so the only thing she got was the pillowcase. It would be like sitting on a piece of fabric! Yep! I'm a genius!

"Very funny! Mother, he took the pillow form out of your cushion!" She called to Esme.

"Jacob, put that back the way it is supposed to be," Esme told me.

"Oh, alright! Give it here, bleach blonde," I called to her.

"Gladly, Rover! Here! Fetch!" She said launching it into the air. It came sailing at me and I ducked. It hit the lampshade and spun the whole lamp around. Good thing it didn't fall. Rosalie looked anxiously at the lamp, breathing a sigh of relief when it didn't fall.

"What was that?" Esme asked walking into the room with Carlisle.

"The Blonde Bully launched that pillow at me and it hit the lampshade and spun the whole lamp," I said pointing to the cushion and lamp.

"It didn't fall, mother!" Rosalie quickly said.

"Alright, that's enough! Rosalie, you go to your room and stay there until I say you can come out," Carlisle said to her pointing to the stairs.

"Dad, it didn't break, nothing happened," she said.

"I don't care, it could have happened. You're just lucky it didn't fall or you would be going to my study and waiting for me again," Carlisle said giving her a glare. "Now go!"

"Ha ha ha! Have fun putting your fire out!" I said laughing at her as she walked up the steps. She turned to say something to me but Carlisle intervened.

"Rosalie! Not a word! Go to your room," Carlisle said to her.

I kept laughing at her. It gave me so much pleasure to get the best of her especially now that she got sent to her room! Ha ha ha! How embarrassing is that?

"Jacob, I've had enough from you too. You started it with your insults again, now you sit on that chair over there until I say you can get up," Carlisle said pointing to one of the living room chairs.

"You have to be kidding?" I said looking at him grinning. Suddenly, he flashed right in front of me. I have to admit he looked very intimidating. I even unconsciously took a step back.

"Do I look like I'm kidding, young man?" He asked getting in my face.

"Uh, no! No you don't," I said to him.

"Then SIT!" He said pointing to the chair again. I decided it might just be a good idea to sit down like he said. I moved over to the chair and sat down on it.

"Okay, okay, I'm sitting," I said to him.

"Good, now stay there until I say you can get up. Don't make me have to tell you again," he said pointing his finger at me.

"Yeah, I got it," I said back to him.

"Don't get smart with me, my boy, or you and I will be doing a different kind of dance," he warned me. I just decided to keep my mouth shut.

After a while, Bella and Edward came in the house from their cottage. They came over and asked what I was doing. I hated to tell them, but I had no choice.

"Actually, Carlisle has me and Rose in time out," I said grinning.

"Oh, of course Rose would be involved," Edward said smiling.

"Hey, he tanned her hide good a little while ago," I said to them.

"Really, you got to see it?" Edward asked with enthusiasm.

"No, just heard it. We were going back and forth and she called me a name and I threw a wet scrub rag at her. She flew into a rage and dunked my head in and out of the scrub bucket. Carlisle got her off me and then sent her to his study. Guess I know what happens in that study now," I said smiling.

"Just don't get called in there, Jake," Bella warned. "What happened that you're in time out?"

"We were going back and forth again and she fired a pillow at me and it hit the lamp. Good thing it didn't knock it off. Daddy Vamp sent her to her room and I have to sit here until he says I can get up," I explained to them.

"Jake, you better watch it. Getting called to Dad's study is not a pleasant experience. You can ask any of us," Edward warned.

"Hey, did he actually spank you Bella?" I had to ask her.

"Yes he did! Several times, and it's not pleasant. Take it from me, I've met his hand too many times!" Bella said to me.

"What did you do to get called in there?" I asked her. She then explained all the times she had to face Carlisle. Man, she was a regular customer of his study!

"Geez, Bella! I thought Emmett would be the one to be in the most trouble, but you got a good record going there," I said to her after she explained all her spankings.

"Yeah, and I'm sure there will be many more in the future. You know how my rebellious streak works," she teased.

We sat and talked away the time…

**TBC: Please Review!**


	4. Chapter 4 -- Time Out Means Time Out!

**Chapter 4 – Time Out Means Time Out!**

**Jacob:**

After Bella and Edward had been sitting there talking with me a while, Carlisle came in from the other room. He saw us sitting and talking away. He didn't have a happy look on his face as he started coming over toward us.

"Bella, Edward, how long have you been here with Jacob?" He asked them.

"Oh, about an hour or so. We've just been sitting here, dad, we're not doing anything but talking," Edward said.

"Yes, but Jake is in time out for acting up with Rosalie again and time out means time out. No socializing, talking on the phone, texting, TV, etc. You both should know that. He is being punished, he's not supposed to be hanging out with friends," Carlisle said giving each one of us a look.

"Uh, sorry dad. We didn't think," Edward said.

"No you didn't. So, Edward, you sit on that couch, and Bella, you sit on that couch. All three of you are now in time out. One hour! No talking, no getting up, and no clowning around. You all stay here until I say you can get up. Is that understood?" He asked, pointing at and staring at each one of us in turn.

"Aw, come on dad. We didn't do anything. We didn't mean to interrupt his punishment," Edward said.

"Keep it up and I will make you sit here and hour and a half," Carlisle said to him.

"Okay, okay! Sorry dad," Edward mumbled as he and Bella each went to their respective couches.

"I'm not going to have to come back in here and add to this time out am I?" Carlisle asked us.

"NO!" Bella said.

"Good, then I will be in my study," he said turning and walking up the stairs.

As he got to the top of the stairs, we heard him go knock on a door. Both Edward and Bella knew what that meant. He was going to Rose's room. I was anxiously waiting to hear more smacking noises. I couldn't wait, but none came. Rats, that would have been better than being at a movie if we all could have heard Rose getting her hide tanned again. No such luck. We all realized it at the same time. Edward snapped his fingers in defeat. Bella giggled silently.

After about 10 minutes Carlisle came out from Rose's room and came to the railing to check on us. We were all sullenly sitting there staring into space. Bella was laying back, so was Edward. I was slumped down in the chair. He seemed satisfied and went into the infamous study. I think I'm going to start selling tickets to tour it.

Not too long after that, the vicious blonde came down the stairs. She saw all 3 of us sitting there. She couldn't contain herself as she starting laughing and pointing at us.

"What do we have here? Are all three of you in time out?" She asked grinning.

Edward just looked at her shook his head yes.

"See what letting the dog in does? It gets you in trouble!" Rose taunted Edward and Bella.

I looked at her and made a growling noise like a dog would. I snarled my teeth at her and then snapped at her.

She went to the kitchen and came back rolling up a newspaper and smacked me on the head with it. "Bad dog! Bad dog!" She said.

I grabbed the newspaper and threw it towards the door and snapped my teeth at her again.

Rose smirked at me and went back up the stairs. We all looked at each other and laughed silently. A few minutes later, the thorn in my side came back down the stairs. She had an eyebrow pencil in her hand. She came right up to me and grabbed me by my throat and wrote "BAD DOG" on my forehead with the eyebrow pencil. I grabbed it and snapped it in two. She went for the newspaper again and came back over to me and raised the paper up to hit me again. Just as she reared back, someone grabbed her arm in mid air. She turned around with a scowl for the person and looked into the face of Carlisle! Oh, this was perfect!

"Oh, Daddy! He was taunting me again," she said frantically pointing toward me.

"I didn't hear a word from Jacob, just you, young lady!" He said to her. He then held his hand out for the newspaper. Her face dropped as she handed him the rolled up newspaper. Then I received, not only the earliest birthday present but the best birthday present of my life!

Carlisle pulled and turned Rosalie to the side, bent her over, put his left arm around her waist, and landed about 15 whacks to her bottom with the rolled up newspaper! Edward did everything in his power to keep from busting out laughing. He finally had to bury his head in one of the couch pillows. Bella was trying her best to stifle her laugh also. Me, I was just sitting there with my eyes bulging out and my mouth open as big as the Grand Canyon! If I only had a camera, a video camera at that! That thing would be all over "You Tube". It was beautiful! I wanted to get up and shake Carlisle's hand! That is, until he turned to look at me. He came toward me and I backed up into the chair. Oh no, he's not going to whack me with that is he? Turns out, he was reading my forehead. He turned back and looked at Rosalie who was rubbing her bottom with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Did you write that on his forehead?" Carlisle asked.

"Y-yes dad," she admitted.

"Go get a soapy washcloth and clean it off, right now young lady!" He ordered her.

"Carlisle, what is going on?" Esme asked coming in to see what the ruckus was.

"Just look at Jacob," Carlisle said to Esme. She looked at me and read my forehead. She then turned to Rosalie frowning at her.

"Rosalie, you should be ashamed of yourself," Esme said to her.

"Rose, do as I said," Carlisle said to her. She turned to go to the bathroom and Carlisle landed another whack with the newspaper to her bottom.

Edward was still trying to keep his laugh to himself since he didn't want a piece of the newspaper. It was hard though. He was biting on his knuckles. Carlisle finally spied him and turned to give him a warning look and smacked the newspaper into his left hand a few times while eyeing Edward. Edward finally manage to stop grinning after Carlisle's little threat.

"Oh Jake, I'm sorry, you know how short-fused she is," Esme said to me.

"I'm not so sure he is so innocent, Esme," Carlilse said looking at me warningly. "What did you say to prompt this Jake," Carlisle asked me.

"No Carlisle, this time I didn't start it. You can ask Bella and Edward. Honestly, she came down and started on us being in time out. She told Edward they were in trouble because they let me, the dog, in. I just growled and snapped at her, but I didn't say anything. Then she came over and hit me with the newspaper saying "Bad Dog" to me. Really, that's the truth," I said to him.

He looked over to Edward and Bella. "He's right dad, that's what happened," Edward told him.

"Yes, dad. Rose was the one to provoke him. He grabbed the newspaper and threw it at the door. Then she ran up and got her eyebrow pencil," Bella said to him.

"I have to believe you because I didn't hear anything from you," he said to me. "You all better be telling the truth," he warned us.

Rose finally came back with a soapy washcloth and Carlisle pointed toward me. She came over and washed the markings off my forehead. Then she dried it with a towel. She then looked at Carlisle.

"I should turn you over my knee right here and now, young lady!" He said to her. I could see the panic on her face and suddenly, I felt sorry for her.

"Wait, Carlisle!" I said to him. He turned to look at me. "Don't be mad at her," I said to him. Rose just looked at me in wonder.

"Jake, do you have something to tell me?" He asked thinking I was going to confess or something.

"No, I didn't do anything Carlisle!" I said to him again.

"Well what do you want to say," he asked me.

"Don't embarrass her in front of all of us, cause…" I trailed off putting my head in my hands.

"Because…?" Carlisle asked.

"Because it's funny!" I said busting out laughing. At that Bella and Edward almost fell off the couches laughing with me. Carlisle and Esme looked at all three of us like we were crazy, but then even they started laughing and then so did Rosalie!

I was laughing so hard I fell to the floor holding my stomach. After we all got it out of our systems, we all settled down. Rosalie seemed relieved until Carlisle looked at all of us in a serious way again.

"I want this teasing and taunting between the two of you stopped before someone gets hurt or gets their butt blistered, whichever comes first! Is that clear?" He said to Rose and me.

"Yes!" I said. "Yes dad!" Rose said to him.

"Now try to get along, because this newspaper can't take any more fanny whacking! It's practically in shreds now! And I haven't even read it yet!" Carlisle said walking with the paper to the kitchen trashcan.

We all started laughing again. He turned around and said, "Hey, that wasn't meant to be funny!"

We all looked at each other and started laughing again!

"Why do I try…" he said to Esme.

We all laughed again…

"Hey dad?" Edward asked.

"What is it, Edward?" Carlisle asked him.

"Can we get up now?" Edward asked.

Carlisle looked at us, "Yes, go get me a new newspaper!"

We all got up and headed toward the door. As we got to the door, we all looked at each other and busted out laughing again.

"I'm coming!" Carlisle said starting toward us with the newspaper again.

We hi-tailed it out the door...

**TBC: Please Review.**


	5. Chapter 5 -- Fun in the Morning

**Chapter 5 – Fun in the Morning**

**Jacob:**

It was a few days after the "newspaper incident" as it was called and I had gone home to check on my dad and see how he was doing and to see how the Rez was holding up. It's funny, but all the while I am home on the Rez, I feel like my real home is at the Cullen's. They almost feel more like family to me now than my own. Even Leah and Seth have become more like the Cullen's. Well, Seth already was practically a Cullen but Leah; I didn't think that could ever happen. She now talks regularly with Esme and values Esme's opinion. Doesn't help that my buddies on the Rez refer to us as the Cullen Wolves! They even call us Jake, Leah and Seth Cullen. Smart Asses! Really, I think they're jealous! There was nothing going on here so I took a shower and headed back to the Cullen's.

**Rosalie:**

I came down the stairs with Emmett, bracing myself for another round of insults from that mangy wolf. Surprisingly as I walked into the kitchen, it was strangely silent. Just Mom and Dad talking and Bella and Edward were in the living room.

"Hey, where's that miserable mutt at?" I asked.

"He's at the Reservation, and he's not a miserable mutt, Rosalie," dad said giving me a look.

"Let him insult you all the time dad and see what you think of him then," I said back to him.

"Now babe, the mutt isn't all that bad," Emmett said kissing me on my cheek.

"Why? Do you miss him, Rose?" Edward asked.

"NO! Of course not. It's just so quiet, I thought maybe he found a bone to pick!" I said grinning.

"AH HAA HAA HAA! How long have you been waiting to say that one?" Edward asked smartly.

"You're an idiot, Edward," I said smirking at him.

"That's enough you two," Esme said shaking her head. "Can't you all just get along," Esme stated.

Just then the door burst open and Jake walked in.

"Rosie! I'm home!" He called out.

"Oh no! Look what the cat didn't drag in because it had more sense," I said.

"You would love to look this good, Goldilocks! Oh look, you even have a bear!" Jake said pointing to Emmett.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Hey wolfie, gotta hand it to you on that one," Emmett said punching Jake on the shoulder.

Edward was laughing along with everyone else, "Come on, Rose, you have to admit that was a good one!"

"I'll never admit anything to that moon howler," I said rolling my eyes.

"Hey Rose, why don't you go sharpen your thorns!" Jake said back to me.

"Pack runner!" I said.

"Stuck up" Jake came back.

"ALRIGHT! That's enough of this! For the rest of the day, I don't want to hear any more insults from either of you. This is getting ridiculous and it's going to stop, or I'm going to stop it! Understood?" Dad said standing up, glaring at us and shaking his paper at us.

Edward busted up laughing and said, "Hey dad, I'm not going to buy you another paper, so put it down!"

Dad slapped the paper down on the counter and started walking for Edward shooting daggers at him.

"Whoa!" Edward yelled as he flashed up the steps to his room and slammed his door.

"You better run, boy!" Dad called after him from the bottom of the stairs.

The rest of us were trying to keep from laughing but we were having a hard time. He noticed it too.

"Well?" Dad said looking at all of us.

"Uh, we have to get going," Rose said pulling Emmett outside.

"Um, I think I smell Seth," Jake said taking off outside.

"Oh, was that Edward calling me? Coming!" Bella yelled running up the stairs.

Just then Alice and Jasper came down the stairs. Alice had seen all this in her vision and she and Jasper stayed upstairs until it was safe to come down.

"Morning Momma," she said kissing Esme. "Morning daddy," she said then kissing Carlisle.

"Oh, don't play like the innocent ones," Carlisle warned. They just laughed and sat down.

"Hey Papa, done with that paper?" Jasper joked.

"Not quite," Carlisle said grabbing it, rolling it up and walking toward Jasper.

"OOHH! Don't mess with dad day," he shouted as he ran out the door too. "Emmett, wait for me!"

Carlisle then turned to Alice, "Well, what are you going to say?"

"Nothing daddy, I'm the angel of the bunch," she said.

"Yeah, but she got her wings clipped," Edward yelled out.

"Edward, here I come!" Carlisle called out. The next thing you heard was a plop outside and a streak flashing by the kitchen window as Edward took off.

Carlisle looked over to Esme who had her hand over her mouth laughing silently and trying not to laugh out loud. Alice was snickering too. "You're no better, Esme Anne Cullen!" he said to her.

"Oh Carlisle, you love it!" She said walking up and lightly tapping him on the shoulder.

"Yes I do, my love! I love every bit of their antics! How boring our life would be without them!" He said grabbing her and kissing her.

"Please! I'm still in the room!" Alice said.

"No one's keeping you here, dear," Esme said to her. "I wonder what the rest of the day will hold?"

"Don't ask a question like that," Carlisle said giving her a light tap on her bottom. She squealed with laughter.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Alice said walking out the door to join her siblings and mate.

**TBC: Please review.**

**This is just a short chapter. More will be coming. I wanted to write something because this chapter was due so I came up with this little fun bit. Even the Cullen's need to let off a little steam and have a laugh!**


	6. Chapter 6 -- Revenge is

**Chapter 6 – Revenge is…**

**Jacob:**

Leah, Seth and I just finished a perimeter run. We do it all the time to check for nomad vampires and also because we just like running. It's a wolf thing. We like having a daily routine to follow and we stay in close contact with Sam's pack. So glad things are civilized now and we all get along. It makes things so much better. With Bella and Edward married, it has eased the tension between our families and now we both look out for one another.

We are going in to get breakfast. Esme, Rosalie or Bella usually make breakfast for us. Rosalie is a good cook despite her personality. I am always on edge when she makes the food for us, because I never know what she will put in it or do to it, just to get me. At least I am her only target. She actually gets along with Leah and Seth. Leah and Rose have the same attitude and chip on their shoulders. No wonder they get along!

Walking into the Cullen house we could smell breakfast. Bacon, I love bacon! Reaching the kitchen I saw three spots on the counter for Seth, Leah and Bella. I looked around for my place setting and didn't see one. Rosalie was smirking just waiting for me to ask. Man she can get under your skin.

"What are looking for, Rover?" Rosalie asked smirking.

"What do you think, thorn girl!" I said back to her.

"Oh, looking for your breakfast?" She asked while the others came in and sat down to eat. Eggs, bacon, toast and coffee or juice were spread out on the counter.

"You don't eat at the counter with the humans, you eat down here where dogs should be," She said pointing to the floor.

There next to the door to the garage, she had a placemat with a dog dish that had "Jacob" printed on it and eggs, bacon and toast all torn up and mixed together in the bowl, with another bowl next to it filled with water. I was seeing red.

"Come on Jakey boy, here's your breakfast, come on boy, here boy, come on, eat!" She said. She squatted down and motioned for me with her hand, like trying to coax a dog to eat.

"You…" I was about to cuss her out, but Carlisle came in.

"ROSALIE! You stop that this instant, young lady! That was very disrespectful of you to treat Jacob like that. Now you pick that up, throw it away, and make him a decent breakfast. I am going to stay here and make sure you do it, now get busy," he scolded her.

Good, I wish I had a picture of the sullen look she had on her face. I stood there grinning at her since she couldn't say anything to me with Carlisle there. He was standing behind me and couldn't see my face. She glared at me and I stuck my tongue out at her. She turned away with a disgusted look on her face and went to the stove to fix my breakfast. The others were laughing to themselves and had almost finished all the food on the counter. Seth is a big eater!

"Jake, I'm sorry. Here, you sit down and Rosalie will serve you," he said. He put a placemat down for me and poured me some juice. He gave Rosalie a stare that she knew was not good. He walked over to her by the stove and said, "You better do this right or else, young lady," he warned her.

"Yes dad! I'm making him the same as I made for the others." She said. She looked back over to me and shot a disgusted scowl towards me. That was a mistake, because Carlisle saw it and gave her a good SMACK on her rear that she jumped. "Ow!" She yelped.

"Keep it up and we will take this to my study," he warned her.

"Yes sir!" She said and made a wonderful breakfast and came and served it to me at the counter. She set the plate down in front of me and I thanked her. She turned to begin cleaning up the stove.

"Now keep it this way and stop your bickering," Carlisle said to her as he walked upstairs to his study.

Once he was out of sight, I said to her, "Hey, this is really good. You missed your calling. You should have been a chef or a short order cook. You could open your own restaurant! You wouldn't make any money though, because once the customers came in and got a look at your mug, they would all lose their appetites!" "HA ha ha ha ha!"

The next thing I knew, an entire pitcher of orange juice was dumped on my head. I had orange juice and pulp all over me. It went all over the stool and floor and when I got up I slipped and fell in it. I was covered in sticky orange juice. It was a mess. Rose just stood there smirking at me.

"Rosalie, what happened?" Esme asked coming in the kitchen.

"I slipped and dropped the pitcher of orange juice on Jake, doggone it!" She said smirking again.

I just glared at her and snapped at her like a vicious animal. I had to be careful so Esme didn't see me.

"Well, clean this up!" Esme said to her. "Jake, go take a shower, but come in the laundry room and put your clothes in there. I'll give you a towel to wrap around so you don't track this all through the house. Sorry about this honey," Esme said to me. Esme really is a sweetheart until you mess her house and furniture up.

I went upstairs and took a shower and put clean clothes on. I was furious with Rose. I thought of a good way to get back at her. If she wants to play dirty, two can play at this. I can be just as clever, if not more, than her. I'll fix her! I went out into the woods and phased and began putting my plan of revenge into action.

**Later that morning:**

**Rosalie:**

I wanted to change the oil in my car after I got back from running some errands. I wasn't sure if dad was going to the hospital. He has the first spot in the garage and I usually change the oil in that spot since it is near the counter in the garage and it makes it easier to reach things. I knocked on dad's study door.

"Come in, sweetheart," he said.

"Daddy, are you going to the hospital anytime soon?" I asked.

"Yes, in a little while, why?" he asked.

"I want to change the oil in my car today and I was wondering if you could trade places with me when you come home?" I asked him.

"Sure honey, I'm going in about an hour and I will be gone for a couple of hours," he said.

"That would be great, I have to go run some errands so I will use your spot when I get back. Thanks dad," I said.

"You're welcome."

I left before dad and he would probably leave not too long after. I was going into town to get the supplies for the oil change along with running my errands.

**Jacob:**

I was rather proud of my little plan I hatched. I ran through the woods and brought a big plastic garbage bag from the Cullen garage. I also took some gloves from Carlisle's medical supplies he keeps for any type of emergency. This is going to be great! I will finally get my revenge on 'Miss Manners'. I'll show her, if she wants to treat me like a dog, then I will act like one! Oh yeah, this is going to be great!

After the filling breakfast I had this morning, it didn't take long to make a 'deposit' in the woods. I had the bag sitting nearby. I will collect it in the bag when I phase back to human form. I am also going to make a run to see if I can find any fresh scat from the forest animals. My plan is to put it right where she parks and when she steps out, guess what she puts her foot in? Perfect, now she can smell like she really is.

I phased back to human form and dressed. I put the gloves on and gathered my prize and then went to get the others I found while running. I tied the bag up because the smell was really disgusting. I then made my way back to the Cullen garage. At least the others are all home. I just have to do this before Carlisle gets back from the hospital or he will skin me alive. Rose was just going to get the oil changing products so she will be back before Carlisle.

Arriving back at the garage, all the others are in the house. Good, both Carlisle and Rosalie's cars are gone. Perfect timing. I went to Rosalie's parking space and emptied the contents of the garbage bag on the floor of the garage where Rosalie will step when getting out. I used my gloves to spread it out and even spread some underneath the car. It was messy and there was a lot of it. It didn't smell too good either. She wouldn't notice it because she is too busy checking herself out in the mirror before she gets out of the car. She won't smell it because her window would be up. Perfect, it's right where I want it. Now to get rid of the bag and gloves and go over to Bella and Edward's cottage like nothing is wrong and wait for the fireworks to begin. I have to admit I am brilliant!

**Carlisle:**

After visiting a few patients in the hospital, things were slow and there weren't many emergencies, I decided I would go back home and spend time with the family. I was happy that Rosalie finally settled down this morning and made Jake a nice breakfast. Why can't they be like that all the time? Actually, I think they like being that way to each other. I do believe they really like one another and don't want to admit it, so they treat each other this way. That's they way the communicate with each other. It sure drives the rest of crazy. At least I can spend some quality time with Esme if the others are busy. I checked out of the hospital and headed home.

**Back at the Cullen House:**

Emmett and Jasper were in the living room playing one of their games. They get so involved they don't hear or see anyone else but the video games they are playing. Esme and Alice were going through ads in the paper planning their next shopping trip. Bella and Edward were at their cottage and Jake had just joined them.

"Hey, bro, do you smell something?" Emmett asked looking at Jasper.

"Yes I smell something, how bad you stink at this game," Jasper said making a jab.

"No, really, don't you smell that? It's awful," Emmett said staring straight at Jasper.

"Hey, don't look at me and say that!" Jasper came back. "Who knows what you're smell-…whoa, what the heck is that?"

"I don't know but it could peel the paint off the walls, wow!" Emmett said sticking his nose into the crook of his arm.

"Well go out and see what it could be," Jasper said shoving Emmett.

"Not me, I'm not going near that smell. It's worse than a pack of wolves! Let Pops figure it out when he comes home," Emmett said now burying his head in the couch.

"Man, I think it's getting stronger, pretty soon it will walk in the house on it's own! I'm surprised Momma or Alice don't smell it," Jasper said.

"Are you kidding, nothing gets in between women and shopping," Emmett said.

"Come on, get back to the game," Jasper said picking up the controls…

**Carlisle:**

Pulling up the drive I remembered I needed to part in Rosalie's spot so that she can change the oil in her car. Arriving at the garage I pushed the door opener and saw that Rosalie had not come home yet. I pulled into her parking spot and turned the car off. I reached for my doctor's satchel and was about to open the door when a smell hit me. Something smells bad in here. I hope an animal didn't get in here and died and we have to search for it.

Opening up my car door, the smell overwhelmed me and practically pushed me back into the car. Wow, that is awful. Where in the world is that coming from? That smell could turn my blonde hair dark! Grabbing my satchel I stepped out of the car onto the garage floor and immediately my foot slid. I quickly grabbed the door and stopped myself. I looked down at my foot and saw I had stepped in something soft and mushy. Oh no, is that what I think it is? How did that get in here? Well, I found out where the smell was coming from! I gingerly put my other foot down, being careful not to step in it, and raised myself out of the car. As I went to grab for my bag, my other foot slid again in the disgusting gunk and I lost my balance and fell on my bum right into that mess. Oh great! I couldn't catch myself because my foot had slid too far.

I grabbed the door, trying to pull myself up, but slid in it again and fell back down, this time dropping my car keys under the car. Can this get any worse? I reached under the car trying to feel for my keys, and put my hand into another spot of this disgusting scat. Now it's all over my hand. How am I going to grab anything to help me get up? At least I found my keys. I ended up scooting myself back from the door and tried to pull myself up using the outside of the car. I managed to get up and as I was going to grab my bag, my right foot hit a patch of it and I went down on my knees grabbing the inside of my door with my dirty hand smearing the door. I was so mad. I scooted back again and managed to get myself up and slammed my car door. I was a mess! I had smeared the floor scooting back. I looked around and then it hit me. I am in Rosalie's spot. No animal could get in here with the garage door closed. Only one person could have done this and I know who that is!

I stood there furious, and yelled, "JACOB BLACK! GET IN HERE!"

Immediately the kitchen door opened and Jasper and Emmett came out. Followed by Alice and Esme.

"Pops, what's wrong?" Emmett yelled. "WHOA, there's that smell again! I told you something smelled!" He said knocking Jasper on the arm.

"Holy shit, what is that?" Jasper asked then saw me standing there covered in the foul smelling stuff. "Papa! What happened to you?"

"Where is Jacob?" I asked furious.

"Probably at Edward and Bella's cottage," Emmett said. "Wow, Pops! You stink!"

"No kidding! You haven't seen Jacob," I asked still furious.

"No, papa, we haven't seen him all day," Jasper said finally getting a good look at me. "Oh man, Jake did this?"

"Oh crap! Pops! HAHAHAHAHA! Get it, crap! HAHAHAHAHA!" Emmett said doubled over laughing.

"Keep it up and you're going to get it!" I said angrily. At that point, Esme and Alice finally got themselves settled from trying to keep from laughing.

"Carlisle, you're not going in the house like that, you will have to spray yourself off with a hose. I don't want that 'stuff' being tracked all through the house," Esme said trying to keep from laughing.

"HAHAHAHA! Spray him off with a hose, just like you would a dog! Pops! Mr. Sophistication himself! Oh that's so funny!" Emmett said laughing his butt off.

At that, the four of them broke out laughing. They couldn't keep it in anymore. I just stood there fuming watching them enjoying themselves.

"Papa, you want a towel or maybe some toilet paper?" Jasper said as they all laughed again.

"Yes, that's it! Laugh all you want! I'd like to see what you would do if you had this all over you," I said eyeing all four of them. They tried to stop laughing but not with Emmett in the mix.

**At the Cottage:**

**Jacob:**

Bella, Edward and I were sitting around laughing and talking. With our sensitive ears, we heard Carlisle yell my name. We all stopped and looked at each other.

"Uh oh, what did you do Jake? Dad sounds pretty angry," Edward said to me.

"Oh, I played a prank on Rosalie. She probably stepped in it and went crying to her daddy as usual." I said. I then explained what I did.

"Oh this I have to see," Edward said as the three of them ran to the Cullen garage.

**Cullen Garage:**

**Carlisle:**

Arriving at the garage, Edward, Bella and Jake could smell the odor coming out to greet them. They walked in the garage and heard Jasper, Emmett, Esme and Alice laughing. Then they saw me, and realized I was standing in this muck and smelled like a plowed field that had just had the honey wagon spread 'natural' fertilizer on it.

"Hey Carlisle, what happened to you," Jake asked realizing Rosalie wasn't here.

"What do you think happened, Jacob?" I said to him angrily.

"Looks like you stepped in something," Edward said grinning.

"What did you do, roll in it?" Jake asked shocked.

"COME. HERE. JACOB!" I said angrily. He took a few sheepish steps forward and stopped beyond my reach.

"Did you do this?" I asked him pointing to the floor.

"Uh…" Jake hesitated.

At that point Rosalie came pulling in the driveway. She saw all of us standing there. Emmett put his hands up to stop her from pulling in.

"What happened here?" Rosalie asked getting out and walking toward us. "YUCK! What is that smell? Dad what happened to you? Gee, dad, you stink!"

"I know I smell, I'm standing here covered in…t-this!" I said pointing to the foul-smelling substance all over me.

"What is all this crap?" She said looking at it.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Emmett started again. "Do you realize what you just said?"

"Stop it Emmett!" I said growing tired of all the laughing. "Jacob, you are…"

"Wait! YOU! You did this hoping I would come home and step in it? Didn't you? You flea-infested, matted fur shedding, stinking stray!" Rosalie yelled at Jacob getting right in his face.

"Ha, takes one to know one," Jake said laughing in her face.

"How dare you…" Rosalie said shoving him into my car making a dent in it.

"STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU! I'VE HAD ENOUGH! Jacob, you are going to clean this mess up and clean my car up. Inside and out. This garage and my car better be immaculate when you are done. Then you are going to go upstairs and take a shower and report to me in my study, young man! Is that clear?" I demanded of him.

"Yes Carlisle," he said casting his eyes down.

"You better look down, you idiot!" Rosalie said to him.

"And you, Rosalie!" I said angrily.

"What did I do?" She asked.

"You started this mess this morning serving him breakfast like a dog. Now you put a dent in my car. You will fix that dent too, young lady, and it better look perfect. I better not hear you, or you Jacob, arguing or going at it out here in this garage. If I do, I am coming out here and you are both going to get it. I don't care whose fault it is. Is that understood?" I warned angrily.

"Yes daddy!" Rose said. "Loud and clear," Jake said.

"Good, come on Esme, let's go outside and you can hose me off," I said turning toward her. As I turned to walk out of the garage, my foot hit a slick spot in the pile on the floor and I slid and fell on my bum again. I sat there and let out an exasperated sigh. I tried to raise myself up and slid and fell in it again. I could hear muffled laughter behind me. I turned to look at them seeking a little help to get up, but was treated to this fine scenario:

Edward was doubled up on the floor holding his stomach laughing his head off; Bella had her hands covering her mouth trying to stifle her laugh; Jasper was shoving his fist in his mouth biting his fingers trying to keep from laughing out loud; Alice was leaning on the hood of my car holding her laugh in as much as she could; Esme had her arms crossed over her chest with her head down laughing quietly; Rosalie was leaning against the table in the garage doubled over laughing, Jake was sitting down next to my car with his head in his arms trying to keep himself from laughing out loud; and Emmett was on his hands and knees on the garage floor with his head down touching the floor, with his shoulders heaving up and down from laughing so hard.

I just looked at all of them and finally said, "Thanks for helping me up!"

That did it! They all burst out laughing. I just shook my head. Since I couldn't get up without slipping again, I just got on my hands and knees and crawled out of the garage to the yard, leaving a trail of scat tracks from my hands. I had never been so humiliated in my life.

"Esme, when you're done laughing at my expense, could you please come and hose this crap off of me," I asked.

That just drew another chorus of laughter from my supportive family. I just wanted to get cleaned up, and then Jacob and I are going to have to have a little discussion about this. Esme finally came out to the side where the hose is.

"Finished with your little laugh-fest, darling?" I asked her sarcastically.

"I'm sorry dear, but you should have seen your face," she said turning on the hose.

**Back in the Garage:**

"Wow, that sure backfired. Where the heck were you?" Jake asked Rosalie.

"I don't have to answer to you. What a stupid thing to do," Rose said to Jake.

"It would have worked if you would have been parked where you were supposed to be. Carlisle is going to kill me," Jake said.

"Jake, you sure got yourself in a mess," Bella said to him. "Say hi to my stool friend for me."

"What? You think he is going to spank me for this? It wasn't my fault," Jake said to us.

"Well whose fault do you think it is, you hound?" Rose said to him.

"Man, this sucks!" Jake said. "Revenge is…Revenge is…"

Edward came over and clapped Jake on the shoulder, "Revenge is a blistered butt in this house, Jake!"

Jake just put his head down and sighed, "Oh crap!"

A chorus of laughter peeled out again…

**TBC: Please give reviews. **

**I hope this subject doesn't offend anyone. I tried to describe it without being so explicit. Just imagine Carlisle in a situation like that. He's so classy and the poor guy got the short end of the stick in Jake's prank. I sure wouldn't want to be Jacob!**


	7. Chapter 7 -- The Clean Up

**Chapter 7 – The Clean Up**

**Carlisle:**

After Esme hosed me off as best she could, I was now a dripping mess. My hair was matted down, my clothes were dripping all over and my shoes and socks were full of water. I felt like the swamp creature. I walked over and rolled up the hose. I caught a glance at Esme who was still trying to stifle a laugh.

"Carlisle, you will have to take your clothes off before walking through the house. You will track water and that…that muck all over the house," Esme said to me.

"Yes dear, I know. Hopefully you have a towel for me that I can wrap around me since I am thoroughly soaked through and through!" I informed her.

"Of course dear, I will have a towel for you. I'll go in and get one and meet you in the garage," she said as she quickly ran in the garage. I could hear her warn the others. "He's coming, be careful he is not in a good mood."

I walked slowly to the garage, dreading the laughter that was bound to ring out as I stepped in the garage completely soaked. I could hear them talking amongst themselves about the entire event. I cautiously moved to the garage and stepped inside. All eyes turned toward me as I stood there leaving puddles everywhere I stepped. I stopped and waited for Esme to bring me a towel. I must have been a sight with my clothes dripping water like a river and my hair completely wet and plastered against my head. I started to ring my shirt out and I heard muffled chuckling. I looked up at them and they tried their best to keep from bursting out laughing.

I eventually took a couple of steps, water just running off of me and my shoes and socks making a squishing/squeaking sound with each step. I took a couple more squishing steps and they couldn't hold it in any longer. They all broke out laughing again. Emmett was stomping his foot and beating his fist on his thigh. He could hardly contain himself. Jasper and Edward were no better. Jake was laughing but had an apprehensive look on his face while trying to control his outburst. The girls were all trying to cover their laughter.

Esme finally came out with a towel and I wiped my face and head off. At least my hair wasn't dripping anymore. She motioned for me to come and follow her so I could step out of my clothes before going in the house. I took a few steps, squishing and squeaking, entertaining my little band of hyenas who were enjoying every minute seeing their father in such a disarray.

"Pops' is squeaky clean," Emmett choked out dissolving in laughter.

That broke everyone up. I just turned to look at them and when I did, I took a step toward Emmett, but my shoes squeaked again so I stopped. Emmett fell on the floor laughing. Jasper and Edward were practically doubled over. Jake was now lying on his back on the floor.

Then Edward pipes up, "Dad has that certain 'aire' about him!"

That just started the whole lot of them laughing again. I just looked at Esme and she had another towel over her face. I kicked my shoes off and headed for the door to the kitchen. I didn't care how much water came off of me; I had to get in before they all started in on another round of laughter. I got to the door and Esme shrieked,

"Carlisle, no! You will track water and…and…t-that…uh…"

"Crap?" I offered since she couldn't bring herself to say it. Of course the laughter rang out again.

"Y-yes! It smells out here, I don't want it in the house," Esme said. "Here, I'll hold the towel and you get out of those clothes and wrap up in this towel. Children, turn around and give your father some privacy."

They all turned around, still giggling. I dropped out of my clothes and wrapped the towels around me like a toga. I began walking to the kitchen door again. I almost got there when Emmett and the others turned to see me wrapped in the towels. I knew a comment was coming, so I just turned to look at them.

"Alright, come on, I know you're dying to say something! Get it out of your system," I coaxed them.

"Hail Caesar!" Emmett yelled out throwing his right arm up in the air hailing me. The all dissolved in laughter. I just shook my head while looking at them.

"Have your little laugh now, while you still can!" I said to them raising my eyebrows.

"Huh? What do you mean by that Pops?" Emmett said a little concerned.

"Hmm! Got you wondering now, don't I? Now who has the last laugh?" I asked.

I have to say I was quite proud of myself for my quick thinking! They all got quiet and just stood there looking at me, feeling a little uneasy.

"Oh, and Jacob! Make sure you get the inside of my door panel and the floor and under my car. Back the car out and I want all this…stuff, out of here. I want it to shine like a mirror, my car that is. I also want the garage clean as a whistle. You will need to shovel this…fertilizer and put it in a bucket and dump it. Don't just wash it out on the drive way or on the sides of it. It will smell, like it does now! Is that clear?" I asked him.

"Yes, Vamp Dad, I'm in deep sh…" Jake said.

"Jacob, language!" I warned. "After you are finished, take a shower and report to me in my study, young man!"

"Yes sir!" Jake said somberly.

"Rosalie! I want that dent out of my car and when you are finished, I need to have a little chat with you in my study also," I said to her.

"What? You can't be serious! What for? I didn't do anything, it was all this wolfhound's doing!" She spouted off.

"You started it! You treated him like a dog and then poured orange juice all over him," I reminded her.

"H-how did you know that?" She asked.

"Hey Rose, let me give you a little tip, vampires have super sensitive hearing, just so you know for the future," Edward said sarcastically.

"Shut-up Edward! As if I wouldn't know that," she said disgusted.

"Well, you couldn't figure out how he knew about the orange juice," Edward said again.

"I heard a lot of liquid being spilled and I figured it involved you two," I informed her. "The rest of you leave them alone. They have a lot of work to do and they are doing it on their own with no help from anyone but each other. Now get busy!" I said walking toward the door.

The others followed me in the house. I was walking toward the stairs and Emmett came up and clapped me on the shoulder, "I don't want to tell you what to do Pops, but you need a shower. You stink!" He stood there laughing his fool head off again.

I stood there looking at him and moved forward and enveloped him in a big, tight hug. I rubbed his hair with my hand too. He was having a fit.

"Ugh! Oh man, that smells! Get off, Pops! You reek! Whoa that's strong! Let me go," he whined.

"Are you done laughing at me?" I asked.

"Yes, yes! I'm sorry! Let me go, man you're ripe!" He said running up toward the shower.

Now it was my turn to laugh…

**Back in the Garage:**

**Rose & Jacob:**

Rose and Jacob just looked at each other with utter disgust. The garaged really smelled bad. This must be what a hog farm smells like. It was awful.

Rose spouted off, "Of all the stupid, asinine things to do, you had to pull a stunt like this. It smells awful in here. How do you think we are going to get this stuff done with this field full of manure? I wish I could throw up, I'd do it all over you!"

"Oh pipe down, like you never smelled anything like this before. You should be used to it, isn't this your brand of perfume?" Jake said proudly.

"You're pathetic. I'm surprised you're not rolling in it to mark your territory," Rose said with bitterness.

Taking the shovel, Jake picked up a load of the disgusting gunk and held it out to Rose, "Hey look, your personality in the raw!"

"I have a great personality. It's just like my name, beautiful as a rose!" She said opening her arms like a blooming flower.

"In your dreams; more like a Venus Flytrap!" Jake said as he clapped his hands together like a trap.

"That's enough out of you two. You better not let your father hear you out here. Now get busy and get this cleaned up, both of you!" Esme said sternly.

"Yes Mother!" Rose said. "Yes Momma Vamp" Jake said.

"Hey Rose, get in the car and back it out so I can get under it and scoop this up," Jake said to her.

"Don't give me orders you dingo, I'm not stepping in that crap," Rose said disgustedly.

"Get in from the passenger side! Typical blonde, can't think beyond a strand of your hair. Come on, I need you to move it, useless!" Jake said again.

"Make sure you're standing behind the car when I back it out, genius!" She said getting in and backing the car out in front of the garage.

We both started working. I cleared the muck out and put it all in the bucket. I then ran it way out in the woods and dumped it out there. I then came back and cleaned the bucket out.

Rose was working on the back door where she shoved me into the car causing a dent. I opened the driver's door and scrub the door panel and down on the floor by the seat. It smelled awful. I sure hope this smell gets out of this car or I am doomed.

"Yuk, he got it all over. Boy that smells! You better hope that smell gets out or Daddy will really tan your hide. Ha, you're going to get your butt whipped good ,wolfie boy, that's the only good thing out of this whole mess," Rose said happily.

"Sounds like your hide is on the line too, Miss Dracula," Jake teased.

"It will be worth it knowing you're going to be next. Just wait to you feel one of Daddy's spankings. You'll be howling just like the wolf you are," Rose taunted.

"That's okay, I can take anything Daddy Vamp can dish out. We wolves have tough skin you know," Jake said.

"Yeah, so do vampires! You're in for a rude awakening, Jakey boy!" Rose said.

Jake continued to clean up the garage, but couldn't take his mind off the upcoming meeting he was destined to have with Carlisle. Surely, he could take a spanking. Carlisle couldn't spank that hard. He was a wolf and they can endure a lot. He tried to keep his mind off it. He did pretty well, but as he was finishing up, he could feel a few butterflies in his stomach start to flutter…

**TBC: Please give reviews. It's so nice to hear from all of you…**


	8. Chapter 8 -- The Study Experience

**Chapter 8 – The Study Experience**

**Jacob:**

Rose and I were finally finishing up the garage. I had cleaned the garage floor and Carlisle's car inside and out. Rose got the dent out. Thank goodness it wasn't that bad of a dent. I had things picked up and she was putting things away after getting the dent out. She had tools and such strewn all over the floor. I went over and helped her pick the things up. She looked at me like she was shocked I would do that.

"What, I can't help you clean up?" I asked her.

"It's just, I thought you would stand around and watch me finish up," she said surprised.

"Hey, we're both in trouble, we might as well help each other clean up and get things put away. You did a great job on that dent, by the way," I told her.

"Thanks! You mean that?" She asked startled.

"Of course, you can't even tell it was there. Carlisle will be thrilled. You did good, I'm impressed," I said sincerely.

"Thanks, that means a lot. The garage looks and smells nice. Dad's car looks immaculate and shines like a looking glass. He will be thrilled to drive it," she admitted.

"Sorry about all the insults," I said to her.

"Yeah, me too. You wouldn't be hard to get along with if you didn't have that wolf attitude," she said smirking at me.

"You're not so bad yourself if you didn't have that high and mighty attitude," I said smirking back at her.

"Now that's what I like to hear and see, my children getting along. Why can't you two act this way all the time?" Carlisle said. He had just come into the garage and seemed like he heard our little exchange.

"Yeah, but what would you do for entertainment if we didn't argue?" I asked him.

"I would like to find that out for once," Daddy Vamp said. "We could use a little peace and quiet around here for a change. Even for half a day, that would be a nice treat."

"How boring would that be if Bimbo and I got along all the time?" I said laughing.

"See daddy, he starts it all the time. I'm not a bimbo, you lice infested sack of fur!" She said.

"Alright! Stop it! You were getting along and then you both act like 6-year-olds. I should turn you both over my knee right here and now! Carlisle said angrily. "Let me see my car, young man, and it better be immaculate!" He said turning to me.

I gestured to his car and said, "Allow me, sir!" I opened the car door and he looked in and checked all over. He then closed the door and looked over the outside of the car.

"I must say, it looks beautiful, Jacob! You did a wonderful job. I see the garage is scrubbed clean also. Another excellent job. Now keep it that way and stop with the pranks, mister! Do I make myself clear?" He asked.

"Yes sir, I hear you. I'm sorry you had to be the one to get the shitty end of the deal," I said grinning.

"Jacob! Watch your language! You should be sorry you pulled that prank; not that I was the one who stepped in it! Literally!" He said admonishing me.

"Yes Carlisle, I'm sorry!" I said to him. He just glared at me.

"Now, let me see the dent! Rosalie, this is beautiful! I can't even tell where it was. You did a fantastic job as usual. But you need to stop all of this too. You should not have shoved him, especially into my car, young lady!" He scolded her.

"I know, sorry daddy. He just makes me so mad!" She came back.

"Well, you're no picnic to be around either, you know. If you would keep your trap shut for once, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess," I said sarcastically to her.

"Me keep my mouth shut! What about that muzzle of yours? If you wouldn't be snapping it off at me all the time, maybe you wouldn't get shoved into a car. Too bad it wasn't moving when I shoved you into it," Rosalie said.

"What a lousy thing to say! Animal abuser!" I yelled at her. "I should turn you in to the Humane Society! Oh wait a minute, you're not humane! You're not even human!"

"ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!" Carlisle shouted at us. _(I've never heard him raise his voice like that. We must have really pushed him to his limits.)_ "Since you were both getting along and you did such a good job cleaning up and fixing that dent, I was going to let you off with just cleaning all this up. But now you have shown me that you learned nothing working together and you still insist on acting like children. Therefore, you are both going to be punished like children. Both of you get your butts upstairs and take a shower and then both of you report to my study. I have had enough of this nonsense, and I am putting an end to it as of now. GO!"

We both took off out of that garage and away from one angry Carlisle! We raced up the stairs to our respective showers. As we reached the stop of the stairs, I turned to Miss Personality and rubbed it in. "Fine, look what you caused us now!"

"I didn't do it, you did, you stupid mongrel. You belong outside with the other wolves. Why don't you go out and bay at the moon like your regular wolf kin!" She insulted me.

"At least I can go out, you walk out and every animal and bird run for their lives at the sight of you, bat girl!" I came back at her.

"What did I tell you two to do?" Carlisle said standing behind us with his arms crossed.

When we heard his voice, we both stopped talking and looked at each other in shock! We were so busy yelling at each other, we didn't hear him come up the stairs or see the others standing in their doorways looking at us. Carlisle started walking toward us and we both took a step back seeing him angrily approaching us.

"Come here, both of you!" Carlisle said pointing to the spot right in front of him. We both looked at each other with a worried look as we began carefully walking toward him. We stopped right where he pointed. He had a very stern look on his face as he looked back and forth from me to Rosalie. We didn't really like being this close to him right now.

"The next one who talks is getting a bar of soap in their mouth for 15 minutes! Just try me!" He warned. "Now go to your bathrooms, take a shower and get your butts in my study and I don't want to hear a word out of either of you. Understood?" He glared at us. We just shook our heads yes. He motioned for us to go and we both got out of there as fast as we could.

I ran to the shower Leah, Seth and I use while staying here. I took my shower and washed all the muck and grime off of me. It felt good to be clean again. I quickly dried off and went to my room to change clothes. I took my time dressing because I wasn't looking forward to what awaited me in the dreaded study. But seriously, how bad can it be? This is Carlisle we're talking about, the nicest, kindest, most understanding, compassionate person I know. He can't be that tough. I'm sure he can make his spankings felt, but he has to remember, I am a wolf and my skin and body is hard. We heal fast too, so I hope he doesn't hurt himself when he smacks me. He could hurt his hand really bad and I would hate for that to happen. I will have to remind him how tough wolf skin is and not to hurt himself. I am sure I can take anything he dishes out. Come on, really Carlisle, how bad can you spank? I left the room and walked with confidence toward his study. Just my luck, the Ice Queen came out of her igloo at the same time. We both gave each other a glare and made our way to the dreadful study they keep warning me about.

Arriving at the door, Miss Popsicle, turned to me before knocking on the door. "I hope you are prepared for this. I'm warning you, daddy can give one hard spanking!" She warned me.

"Don't sweat it! I can take anything he can dish out. Wolf hide you know! I feel sorry for you though, you probably won't sit for a month when he gets done with your sassy tush!" I teased.

"Okay, have it your way. Don't say I didn't warn you," she said grinning as she knocked on the door.

"Come in you two," Carlisle called to us.

'Icy' opened the door and I let her lead the way in. Carlisle motioned for us to take a seat in the chairs in front of his desk. We both took a seat and looked at Carlisle sitting behind his desk who was not too pleased with the two of us at the moment. He gave a sigh and then began his talk.

"I am very disappointed in the two of you. You just can't let anything go and get along with each other. Because of that you insult, taunt and tease each other mercilessly. Now you have started to pull pranks on each other that are affecting others as well. We are all growing tired of your childish behavior. I know this seems to be the only way you two can communicate with each other, but you need to learn to get along. Jacob, you, Leah and Seth have become like children to Esme and I. We all think of you as our family, even Rosalie does, even though she can't seem to get herself to admit it. We appreciate all you have done for us in the past concerning Bella and our family. In turn, we treat you as our family and you are welcome here anytime and you can stay as long as you want. We enjoy having you."

"You, Rosalie, will have to get used to them being here. They are part of our family now, and you need to accept that and act accordingly. You have been very disrespectful and mean to Jacob in particular and you are going to stop it once and for all. Do I make myself clear, Young Lady?" I said giving her a stern glare.

"Yes daddy! For what it's worth, I do like Jake and Leah and Seth. It's just the way Jake and I get along the best. We really don't mean what we say. He usually starts it and I finish it," she said.

"Oh no! You're not pulling that one. You are the one who shoots her mouth off first, and you know it, wise ass!" I said.

"See, there he goes," she said to Carlisle.

"Stop it! You seem to be the one who starts it Rosalie. Don't say another word. You are both at fault and you, young lady, stop putting all the blame on Jake. Jake you stop rubbing it in. I've had enough and now you are both going to pay for your childish actions and behavior. Jake, you go to your room until I call you back here. Rosalie, come with me to the couch," Carlisle said getting up and walking to the couch.

I left the room and glanced back as I got to the door. Carlisle sat on the couch and Rosalie stood by his right side. Oh man, is he going to turn her over his knee? How embarrassing is that? That must be what they mean, being turned over his knee is like being punished like a child. No wonder they hate it. Now I see what they are talking about. He couldn't do that to me. I am too big. He will make me bend over the desk or something. I actually feel sorry for Miss Frosty. Man, he's going to melt the frostiness off her hide! I got to my room and lay on the bed waiting for my turn. As I was lying there, I heard the sound of the others leaving the house and the front door close. Everyone clears out when the punishments are doled out, I guess.

**Back in the Study:**

**Carlisle:**

"All right young lady, you know the drill. Drop your pants and bend over my knee, Rosebud." I instructed her.

She unbuttoned her pants and slid them down. She then placed herself over my lap. I adjusted her then pulled her panties down. I wrapped my left arm around her waist and raised my right hand.

"Ready?" I asked.

"I guess," she said sullenly.

I brought my hand down hard and sharp and landed smack after smack to one side then the other. I made her feel my disappointment and let her bottom have it. She felt my unhappiness as she wiggled and kicked her feet up and down and was slapping at the floor with her hands.

"Hold still Rosalie. You know you have earned this and you are going to feel it. I am tired of this nonsense and you are going to learn to heed my warning, little girl," I said to her. I then began spanking her again, landing whack after whack on her bare bottom again.

"OWWW! Daddy, please it hurts! Owww, owww!" She shrieked and pleaded.

"Well maybe you will learn something after all," I said and I shifted her forward and pulled out my stool from under the couch. Putting my right foot on the stool, I raised her bottom up and applied smack after smack to her tender sit spots and upper thighs. She really howled at that.

"Oh no! OWWW! Oww, daddy please! Oww! Stop please! Owww! Daddy! NOOOoooooo!"

I gave her another dose and then ended her spanking. She lay there sobbing and crying and bouncing up and down on my lap. She wanted to rub her bottom so bad, but she knew that was not a good idea and she would pay for that action. I let her cry it out and then helped her up and held her in my lap. She snuggled close and settled herself down.

"Think you learned your lesson, missy? Or do I have to repeat this again?" I asked her sternly.

"I'll behave daddy, I'm sorry! I'll try my best," she promised.

"That's all I can ask. If you have a problem with Jake, you come and talk to me. We will work it out. You know I love you Rosie, please don't make me spank you for this again," I said to her. "I do not like hearing my beautiful Rose cry," I said hugging and kissing her.

"I'm sorry and I love you too, daddy," she said kissing my cheek.

"You can go now baby! Tell Jake to come to the study and no wise remarks, Rosalie, do you hear me?" I warned.

"Yes daddy! I hear and feel you," she smirked rubbing her bottom and leaving the room.

**Jake's Room:**

I heard footsteps coming to my room then a soft knock on the door. I opened it and was surprised to see Rosalie standing there rubbing her sore rear end. She looked like she had been through the mill and back! Wow! Carlisle must have really laid into her.

"It's your turn," Rosalie said.

"What, no wisecrack?" I asked her.

"Not in the mood. Good luck!" She said with a sincere look on her face.

"He really laid into you didn't he?" I asked surprised.

"Yes, he did! It hurts! A lot! Like I said, good luck!" She said as she turned and slowly walked to her room rubbing her bottom.

"Hey, are you okay? Let me get the door for you," I said running and opening her door. She looked at me and nodded her head in thanks. I put my hand on her back and said, "Sorry Rose." She turned and gave me a slight smile. I gave one back to her. I turned to make my way to the study.

"Boy I hope this wolf skin is tough!" I thought arriving at the study.

I walked into the room and closed the door. Carlisle was sitting on the couch waiting for me. Oh, this can't be good! I thought to myself. He motioned for me to come over to him on the couch. He has to be kidding! He will probably get up when I get over there, I told myself. As I stopped in front of him, he was still sitting on the couch.

**Carlisle:**

"Jake, this is your first time being punished by me. I will tell you what I have told all of my children. I am very fair, but I will make you feel the spanking. As you know, you will be receiving a spanking. I will only use my hand; I never use anything other than my hand. It will be on your bare bottom though, so you will have to drop your pants. I usually have my children drop their slacks and then I will take your underpants down to spare us both embarrassment after you bend over my knee. You will stay there and take your punishment until I say you can get up, is that clear?" I asked him.

"Wait! What? Across your knee? Are you kidding? No, I don't think so, Carlisle. I'm not bending over your knee. That is too embarrassing. I'm not a child," Jake said with resolve.

"You sure have been acting like a child, and yes you will bend over my knee, or I will get up and put you over it myself. So I suggest you get over here, drop your pants and bend over, young man," I said to him sternly.

"No way! I'm not going over your knee," Jake said backing up and shaking his head no.

"Jacob! Come back here this minute, young man!" I said glaring at him.

"Uh uh! No way, Hosea! Not bending over your knee, daddy vamp," Jake said turning and walking towards the door.

"Jacob Black Cullen! Stop right there and get back here or else!" I warned him.

"Cullen?" He asked looking at me with surprise.

"You're here in my house and you're like another son to us, so yes, Jacob Black Cullen, come here!" I said again.

"Not going to happen, daddy vamp," Jake said again turning toward the door.

"Okay, have it your way," I said as I flashed to right in front of him.

"AHHHH! Man you scared me! I forgot you guys could do that! Wow, my heart is racing! Give a guy some warning, will ya?" He went on.

"I did warn you, now come with me," I said grabbing him and turning him toward the couch.

"No, no way! I'm not going over your lap, not today, not tomorrow not…Hey, wait a minute, put me down," Jake yelled.

I lifted him up effortlessly and carried him in my arms like a baby toward the couch. He was whining like a baby too when he saw he could not escape me.

"No, no daddy vamp, please! Not like this, I'm sorry, I'll walk with you, put me down; please…" he continued begging.

"Nope, you had your chance. So now we do it the hard way," I said. Reaching the couch I stood him down facing the couch as I sat down and settled myself again. I reached over and unfastened his jeans and yanked them down. I then effortlessly pulled him down across my knee. He was still flailing and whining as I situated him the way I wanted him. I just let him kick and plead as I pulled his under pants down. He really pleaded then.

"Oh come on, no please, not bare! Come on daddy vamp, have a heart will ya?" He begged.

I locked my left arm around his waist and he was stuck like glue to my lap. He couldn't budge from my knee. He was stuck and he knew it. I laid my hand against his bare rump. I couldn't help smiling to myself.

"Think you're too big to be over daddy's knee?" I teased him. "Let me show you how big you are, young man," I said as I landed the first SMACK, fast and sharp to the right side of his bottom.

"OOOWWW!" He let out a yelp that I'm sure the others heard wherever they were. I landed another one, SMACK!

"OOOOOOOOWWWWW!" Wait, wait, please, wait!" He called out to me.

"What?" I asked halting my assault to his rear.

"What are you hitting me with? I thought you said you would only use your hand?" He asked.

"I am using my hand," I said to him.

"That can't be your hand!" He said turning to see what I had in my hand. He was shocked to see just my hand raised. "What? Did you put it down? It felt like a damn concrete paddle," he said.

SMACK! I brought my hand down again at his words. "You watch your language young man!" I said warning him.

"OOOWWW! It is just your hand! It can't be!" He said shocked again.

"Yes, it is, and here it comes again," I said as I began his spanking in earnest. I rained down my hand covering every inch of his bare bottom from one side to the other. I made sure I covered the entire area.

He was yelping, kicking and bucking on my lap. He eventually tried to get up, putting his hands and feet on the floor and pushing up trying to knock himself off my knee.

"Jacob, you lay back down over my lap, young man. Don't you dare try to get up again," I warned him as I landed 10 very hard SMACKS to each side of his bottom for trying to get up. He really howled at that.

"OOOWWW! No, please, I'm sorry! OOOOWWW! I won't try to get up again! OOOWWWW!" He howled and pleaded.

I stopped and lectured him again. "Don't you dare do that again or you will really feel it. Understood?"

"Yes, y-yess, I-I'm sorry, pleeaaseee!" He cried and sobbed.

I then tipped him forward and moved my stool over and placed my right foot on it. I then raised my hand again.

"Oh no! Bella warned me about this! No! Please not that!" He pleaded.

"Sorry, my son, you have earned this," I said as I began tanning his sit spots and upper thighs with hard spanks making my unhappiness known to him in no uncertain terms. He yelped and begged and sobbed. I finished with alternating 10 very hard SMACKS to his sit spots and finally ended his first spanking with me. I'm sure it won't be the last one. I let him lay there sobbing and getting himself under control. He finally settled down enough and I helped him up.

I usually hold and comfort my children after spanking them, and I intended to treat Jacob the same way. I was hoping he would be open to it.

As he stood up, I did too and helped him pull his pants up. He gritted his teeth in pain as he felt the material brush against his sore bottom. As he fastened his pants I made him face me.

"Come here, son," I said and held my arms out to him. To my surprise, he welcomed the embraced and I sat down and pulled him onto my lap being careful to hang his bottom off the side of my leg. I held him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I hope you learned your lesson, Jake. I do not like punishing my children, but if you continue to disobey me and break my rules, you will end up over my knee every time. I hope we do not have to do this again, but you and I both know that probably won't be the case. So I ask you to behave as much as you can so this becomes a rare occurrence," I said to him.

"Yeah, no kidding! That hurt like hell!" Jake said rubbing at his bottom.

I gave him a swat to his sore bottom again. "What did I say about language, young man?"

"Oww! Sorry, I forgot! Man, you don't mess around!" Jake said.

"No I don't, and I expect my rules to be followed." I warned him again.

"I thought my wolf skin would protect me and I wouldn't feel it. But I felt everything, every smack you gave me felt like fire. It still hurts!" He said rubbing his bottom again.

"Remember Jake, my vampire children have hard skin like statues. It seems we vampires and wolves such as yourself, feel like normal humans to one another. We only feel different to humans. So, just like my vampire children, you're going to feel my spanking more than a human would because of your sensitive nerve endings and fast healing properties. You will heal faster, but it will hurt for a while to get the point across," I explained.

"I had no idea it would hurt like this. No wonder the others said I wanted to avoid the study at all costs. Now I know what they mean. I will have to warn Leah and Seth. Or maybe you wouldn't punish them?" He asked.

"Let me explain something to you. If you are under my roof, you are under my care. You follow my rules and if you break the rules, you suffer the consequences. I don't care who you are, wolf or vampire or human, you answer to me! Understood? Or would you like another demonstration?" I asked tilting him forward to tease him.

"NO! I get it; Leah and Seth will get it too! No need to demonstrate anymore, I got it, please!" He pleaded.

Laughing I put him back where he was. "Think you learned your lesson now, my wolf son?"

"Yes sir! Loud and clear! Blondie and I have to come to some sort of understanding. But Carlisle, we like jabbing at each other. It's just our way." He said.

"Well, just keep it down and don't be so hard on one another. Or else, you know what will happen?" I warned him.

"Yes! Yes I do, and that sure will keep me on the right path. I don't want to have to experience this again. I won't be able to sit for a week the way this feels," he moaned.

"You'll live! Now go get yourself together and come downstairs when you are ready. The others will be back soon and I'm sure Leah and Seth will want to make sure you are still in one piece," I said rubbing my hand in his hair.

"Yes Daddy Vamp! See you in a few," he said as he slowly made his way to the door, moaning and rubbing all the way.

I sat and laughed to myself. This is sure going to be interesting…

**TBC: Please give reviews. Let me know if I should end this story with the next chapter, or do a few more chapters…**


	9. Chapter 9 -- Becoming A Family

**Chapter 9 – Becoming a Family**

**Jacob:**

After my dance with daddy vamp, I made my way back to my room that I occupy while staying with the Cullen's. I flopped on my stomach on the bed. Man, my butt hurts. I never thought anything could hurt so much. So much for wolf skin! That stung like a swarm of bees! Carlisle can give one mean spanking. I still can't believe it was just his hand. As I was laying there drowning in my sorrows, there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," I called.

The door opened and Rosy Posy came in. She had a package of frozen peas in her hand.

"Hey, what the heck is that? You're not throwing frozen peas at me, Ice Rose!" I warned her.

"I'm not going to throw them at you, it's to put on your hot seat," Rose said as she slammed them down on my stinging rear.

"OOWW! Oh, hey, that feels good. Thanks!" I said to her.

"Always good to have frozen peas on hand, remember that, wolf face," she taunted. "So how did you like your first Carlisle Cullen Spanking?"

"That hurt like hell! I didn't think anything could hurt wolf skin, but I was wrong. Man, was I wrong! He sure can give a hard spanking. I probably won't be able to sit for a week," I moaned.

"Probably not. The spanking will last a while and you feel it with every move. Keep putting the peas on. Refreeze them and use them again. That's why we keep them in the freezer. I tried to warn you," she said.

"Yeah, I should have listened. I'm in no hurry to go through that again," I said rubbing and moving the peas to another spot.

"If you stay with this family, you will be in there again, believe me. We have all be through it. Eternity is a long time," she warned. "How about we call a truce?"

"Awe now, what's the fun in that?" I asked.

"It will save our butts. We could just tone it down and no more pranks if you want? I would miss our ribbing too much," she admitted.

"Sounds good to me. Cut down the insults and no more pranks! I think I like that! Truce!" I said holding out my hand. We both shook on that.

There was a knock on my door and Seth and Leah came in. Rose greeted them and then left the room for us to talk. They both heard about my visit to the study from the others. They were both curious and wanted to see for themselves.

"Hey Jake, did you get your butt spanked?" Seth asked laughing.

"Yeah, and it still hurts. I didn't think our wolf skin would feel it, but I was wrong. A little advice to the two of you, don't piss off Carlisle!" I warned them.

"Awe, Carlisle would never spank us," Seth said again, grinning.

"Oh yeah? I asked him if you two fell under the same rules as me, and he said as long as you are under his roof, you get the same treatment. Break the rules; he breaks your butt, end of story. So just be careful because this could be either of you if you disobey him or break any of his rules. Honestly, you don't want to be called to that study! Man this hurts!" I complained.

"Where did that bag of peas come from?" Carlisle asked. He was standing behind Leah and Seth with his arms crossed.

"Uh, I uh, found them in the freezer," I said not wanting to rat Rose out.

"Mmmhmm! Rosalie Cullen, come here right now, young lady," Carlisle called out.

I heard the door slowly open. I know they can hear just as good, if not better, than we can. She knew Carlisle discovered the peas and he was not happy. I heard her come slowly down the hall toward my door.

"Yes daddy? You called me?" She asked innocently.

"You can drop the act, missy! I see the frozen peas. Where's yours?" Carlisle asked her.

"Um, they're in my um, room, dad," she said carefully.

"Go get them and come back here," he told her. She quickly did as he said and came back offering them to him.

"Take Jake's and put them back in the freezer," he ordered her.

"But daddy, it hurts," she tried pleading.

"It's supposed to, that's what a spanking is. You need to feel the discomfort so you learn something from your mistakes. The peas go back in the freezer, young lady," he said pointing his finger at her.

"Oh, alright, I'll put them back. How do you feel about frozen lima beans?" She asked hopefully.

"Rosalie Cullen!, Daddy Vamp said glaring at her, "Do you want to go back to the study with me?"

"No!, hand them over, Jake Wolf," Rose said walking in my room.

She came in and held out her hand and mouthed, 'sorry' to me. I nodded and handed her the peas. She turned and gingerly walked past Carlisle. She turned to head toward the kitchen and he landed a hard smack to her bottom. She yelped and took off down the stairs. He then turned his attention back to us.

"Jacob, your spanking is meant as a punishment to deter you from doing wrong. You do not get the luxury of ice for your sore bottom. Don't let it happen again, young man," he warned me.

"Yes, daddy vamp, I hear you. Rose was just being nice," I said to him. He looked rather shocked to hear that from me.

"Well, maybe this spanking did some good for the two of you," He said to me. "Oh, and Leah and Seth, just to make it clear, Jacob was right. When you are here under my roof, you follow my rules. If you break them, you suffer the consequences, just like Jake here. So let this be a warning to the two of you," Carlisle warned them.

Seth looked taken aback. Leah just looked insulted. She looked at me then at Carlisle and was about to say something to him when he cut her off.

"Before you make the mistake to say what's on your mind right now, let me warn you, young lady, you are not too old to be turned over my knee, and if you step out of line while you are here, you will pay the price. That includes smarting off to Esme or me or back-talking us. Now, what did you want to say?" Carlisle asked taking a step toward her.

"Uh, nothing, I get the message daddy vamp," she said.

We were all stunned. Leah never called Carlisle or Esme daddy vamp or momma vamp like Seth and I did. Heck, Seth usually just called them mom and dad. Even Carlisle was shocked.

"What?" Leah asked wondering why we were looking at her like that.

"It's just, you never call them anything but by their first names," Seth said to her.

"I-I kind of like having to answer to them. I'm always looking out for others, like you, little brother, and it's kind of nice to have someone else to look after me and answer to." She said looking at Carlisle.

"Leah, thank you. That means a lot to me and to Esme. We have come to think of you three as our children and you are always welcome here. In fact, we are adding another 2 guest rooms on to the house so that you can each have the current guest rooms you are in as your own rooms. I hope you feel comfortable here," Carlisle said to them.

"Wow, thanks. That's really nice of you. I never thought I would feel this way, but I'm really happy to be here. It was hard being around Sam and Emily. I feel better about things now, but I still feel better being here away from all that. Especially since mom is dating Charlie now. This actually feels like home," Leah said.

"When you finish up here, why don't you all come downstairs and we can discuss the additions and your part in the family. You do realize Jacob, you and Seth are going to finish high school, either on the reservation or at Forks high school." Carlisle said.

"What? I don't need to go back to school, daddy vamp. It's all crap anyway," I said to him.

"Jacob, you will finish high school and that's the end of this discussion. You too, Seth." He told us.

"Oh, I was hoping I could quit too," Seth said.

"Absolutely not, you're both going back to school and that's final," Carlisle said sternly.

"But I…" I tried to get more out but Carlisle walked in the room toward me.

"I don't want to hear it young man, now get yourself up and come downstairs, we will discuss this with your mother and the rest of the family but you are going to school and that's final," he scolded.

"Oh boy, this is just great, I feel like a 6-year-old," I moaned as I got up and started down the hall with them.

"You're acting like one too and look what happened the last time you pulled that?" Carlisle pointed out.

We continued going back and forth all the way down the stairs. The others were all following behind us laughing. It was no use in arguing with Carlisle, it only brings you grief. I hated the fact of going back to school. We got downstairs in the living room and everyone came in. Esme sat next to Carlisle.

"What is Jake grumbling about?" Esme asked.

"He thinks he doesn't have to go back to school and I told him and Seth they are going," Carlisle informed her.

"Most definitely you are going back to school young man, do you honestly think we are not going to make you finish high school?" Esme said in her motherly way.

"Oh no, now Momma vamp is starting on us," I whined.

Everyone broke up laughing as the four of us continued going back and forth over this subject. A subject we knew we weren't going to win, but it was fun to rile them all up. Then Rosalie got involved and we began our bickering again. It was unavoidable; she wasn't getting away with butting in.

"You have to go back to school, you dope. I want to see if it is true that you can't teach an old dog new tricks, and your just the one to prove that theory," Rosalie said smirking in her usual way.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA! I'm not laughing at what you said; I just got a good look at your face again! You really shouldn't walk around like that!" I taunted her.

"Jake and Rosalie, enough," Esme said to us.

"Well, she started it again, and I'm not going to let her have the last word," I said to Esme.

"I hope you can't sit for a week, and when you phase into that worthless pelt of yours, I hope you can't sit and your tail hurts!" She came at me.

"Momma Vamp, don't you need Rosalie to mop the floor up? Hey, Rosie, go dunk your head in a bucket and start swabbing," I said to her.

We kept going back and forth. We were supposed to be having a family meeting, but we noticed Carlisle got up and motioned for Esme to follow him. They went into the kitchen. Rosalie and I continued our banter. We were beginning to get louder. I'm surprised Carlisle hasn't stopped us yet. I noticed them both coming back to the living room, but I was too enthused with getting the last word in with Miss Know-it-all.

"Hey, straw head, the next time I phase I'm going to pretend you're a tree and come over and pee on you," I said laughing. At that moment Carlisle came in front of me and put a piece of duct tape across my mouth.

"MMmmm mmmm mm mmmmm?" I muttered.

"Enough of your bickering. You will keep that tape on until I say you can take I off," Carlisle said pleased with himself. He sat down very satisfied.

"That's right daddy, you tell him." Rosalie said laughing. "You're disgusting! When you do phase, I'm going to hold you down and shave your tail," Rosalie said smirking at me.

"Ha ha…MMM! MMMM MMMM mmm mmm!" Rosalie muttered as Esme did the same to her. Esme smiled at Rosalie and sat down next to Carlisle.

Both Rose and I glared at our parents as they sat smiling and Carlisle said, "Listen Esme!"

"What dear?" Esme asked.

"Ahhhh! Silence is golden," Carlisle said smiling and putting his arm around her.

"AMEN!" Everyone else shouted in agreement!

**End of Story. **

**Please Review…**

**I enjoyed writing this story so much. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. It was a lot of fun…Thanks for all your reviews and support! You guys make it all worthwhile…**


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